A note to the unhealthy me

Dear Unhealthy Me,

I have now survived 10 full weeks of working out with a personal trainer.  While every day is challenging, the first few weeks were definitely the hardest.  I would really prefer to never see you again, as I have worked my butt off (literally!) to get where I am today.  1 1/2 to 2 hours a day in the gym, with cardio and abs until I think I will catch on fire from the burn.  I still have a long ways to go, but the results are starting to show.  Plenty of inches off, down 2 pant sizes, and the weight is starting to drop off as well.  Cholesterol down from 325 to 160 (with the help of some meds), and blood pressure back in the normal range!

Remember how depressed you were when others were losing weight and you were making excuses?  You know....too busy, too tired, too stressed, etc.   I could go on.  That was not a good place to be.  Trust me when I tell you that the way you felt about yourself was DEFINITELY worse than getting up at 5:15 to get to the gym for a workout! 

I love my personal trainer, Jess.  About 6 weeks in, you started to show up in my attitude.  The weight wasn't dropping off like I had hoped.  I wanted to just give up.  Jess stepped in and gave you the smack-down you deserved!  Having her there to help me get rid of you for good has been wonderful.  Trust me when I tell you that if you show up again, she can and WILL put the hurt on you.  :-)

Do me a favor...get lost.  Actually, get GONE...I don't ever want to find you. 

Your Healthier Self,

Susan

Week One is in the books!

Well, I made it through week one without crying or giving up!  As hard as the workouts have been and as sore as I am at this moment, I feel good.  I have done exercises this week that I have never before attempted.  My muscles are so confused!  Bench presses, squats, leg presses, hamstrings, triceps, biceps...I literally heard someone groaning once, and then realized it was me! Oh, and if you've never heard of a Russian Twist, you don't want to.  Trust me on this.

I have also worked out using machines that I have used in the past, but never to this level of intensity!   Once or twice I thought I might pass out or need a break, but about the time my mind is yelling "STOP!" Jess is there to encourage me (sometimes also known as telling me to take the lead out).  Also, YOU are there alongside me, encouraging me to keep it up.  Honestly, I think of you all in those moments where I want to just lay down on the floor in a heap of exhaustion.  I remember your kind words and encouragements, and it keeps me going, second by second, until the workout is finished.

Tomorrow I get to work out on my own and actually do some walk/run intervals.  One of the reasons I am inspired to get back in shape is so that I can run again.  I used to love running...the accomplishment of being able to say that I could run from the Kirksville Airport back to La Plata always felt good.  Some people thought that my running buddy (Debbie Clay) and I were crazy.  We just knew that it felt great.  I want that back!

I can't thank all of you enough for your words of encouragement.  I am still both excited and terrified, as this is really hard, but the payoff has the potential to be so worth it!  Now, let's see what Week Two has in store.....

Sweet Victory!

Alright...it's a small victory, but a victory for me nonetheless.  I survived day two with my personal trainer.  Remember what I said yesterday about the stationary bikes?  Same holds true for lifting weights.  If you aren't breaking a sweat at it, you're doing it wrong.  Apparently I've been doing it wrong for years, as I always considered weights "great for toning" but not for really breaking out in a full-on sweat.  By the end of my first round of leg squats today, I had sweat literally dripping from my elbows!  I pushed my muscles past the point of exhaustion.  In fact, I could barely lift my arms to comb my hair or turn on the shower when we were finished!  I weaved around as I walked on campus, as my legs could not effectively keep me balanced.  I'm sure I received several funny looks as I walked in the library and "fell" into the elevator since my legs would surely have betrayed me had I attempted to climb the stairs with a loaded backpack!  I have to say that that kind of exhaustion feels....well...GREAT!  I know without a doubt I will be one sore puppy tomorrow, but I will wear my soreness like a badge of honor.  I am determined to celebrate everything, including the fact that I made it through another day.  Now, on to tomorrow, which will take me to new and more glorious heights of torture.  :-)

Back in the Saddle....Again!

A wise group of women once told me that the journey of a lifetime starts with a single step.  I think it's safe to say that I have probably taken at least 200 "first steps" in my lifetime towards losing weight.  Anyone else know the feeling?  I know I am not alone.  Many of us struggle up and down the scale. Today, though, is a new and different step for me.  I started working with a personal trainer.

If you've ever ridden an exercise bike and thought it was easy, you're doing it wrong.  I rode an incumbent bike and an aerodyne (the one with a fan) today, each one for 20 minutes.  I thought my head would explode as I was gasping for air.  The trick is intervals, not resistance.  I did survive, though, and even did some abdominal work after that.  All in all, a good day, even though I can barely lift my arms to the keyboard to type this message.  I feel good about surviving my first day back and am looking forward to taking step two tomorrow.

Days Six through Ten

As Day 10 draws to a close, I can look back and feel pretty good about my progress!  I am excited to report that I have lost about 8 pounds and several inches around my waist and hips.  Yeah!  Perhaps an even bigger feat was that I followed the meal plan.  Of course, as I predicted my weekend was the biggest challenge.  It was challenging, though, in a surprising way.  I found that I didn't want to snack at all.  I stayed so busy moving so that I didn't think about food that I missed my snacks!  This led to me wanting more salad at mealtime, which I allowed myself.  I struggled with not being able to eat my normal celebratory foods on Sunday, but "cheated" in a new and different way:  I allowed myself to cheat by adding glazed pecans to a salad and adding a small amount of salad dressing to my meals.  I also allowed myself to have one Diet Pepsi.  This type of cheating contained any damage control (instead of eating a box of mac-n-cheese!), but gave me a chance to mentally feel rewarded.  In terms of exercise, I have worked out 5 days a week, alternating between the elliptical machine, the rower, and the stationary incumbent bike.  Motivating myself to go sweat it out has been challenging, but I always feel good afterwards.  Now on to the next hurdle:  days 11 -24.  While my diet "eases up" a bit, I really don't feel so deprived there.  In fact, I may just keep trying to eat this way by keeping breads, pastas, and dairy to a minimum.  I feel fine this way, and surprisingly haven't missed my beige food group as much as I thought!  Time to pull my Advocare vitamins out of the box and gear up.  One side note:  the Catalyst capsules from Advocare seem to make my workout even better.  Not sure how that works, but I like it!  Here we go!!!

Day Five

I am now on Day 5 of the 10 Day Cleanse.  So far so good, but I am a little nervous about the weekend.  It is easier for me to stay on track when I have a routine.  The weekend leaves me more time to think about all of the great food I can't eat.  My weekend usually revolves around meeting up with good friends, so more than missing the food, I think I will feel like I won't fit in with my normal activities and my friends.  Of course, my friends are all very supportive, so this is a self-limiting belief.  I know this, but it doesn't change my need to feel sorry for myself that I can't go out to dinner at our favorite hangout.  (Okay...so I could.  I just don't think I am ready to watch everyone else eat fried foods and have a cocktail.)  I made other plans, though, that don't revolve around food with one of my best friends.  Hopefully this will take my mind off of going out for dinner on Saturday night.  The weather this weekend is supposed to be particularly nice, too, so I may spend one last weekend on the lake enjoying the fresh air.  I feel so blessed to have such great friends and support.  I was very nervous about putting myself out here in a blog, because my progress is so visible, but everyone has been so inspiring to me that I want to keep this up.  Thank you all for your encouragement!  -Susan

Day Four

Four days in, and I haven't had any carb withdrawals.  That is amazing.  Usually I go through a detox from carbs with chills and aches by now.  Thank you, Advocare!  The scale this morning says that I am down 3 pounds.  Lets hope I can keep up this pace!  I am a realist, though, and at some point I'm sure a pound a day will stop.  Right now it is probably that my body is removing excess bloat from poor eating.  Hey...whatever makes the scale move down, I'm not complaining.  While I was working out yesterday, I had a thought I wanted to share with you.  When my brain tells me that I am "hungry," I now have to learn how to silence that deceiving voice and learn when I am really hungry, not bored or nervous or excited about something.  Getting that inner voice to shut up may be a challenge.  Even harder than that, though, will be teaching myself how to turn on the new voice that reminds me that I need to work out and stay healthy for the rest of my life.  For years, my weight has fluctuated up and down, up and down.  I have tried throwing out my "fat pants" in hopes that I would be inspired to keep off the weight.  Eventually, I just gave up and keep clothes in my closet from size 6 to 16.  I am a realist.  I have been down this road before.  I want to get this weight off and KEEP it off.  That will involve shutting up the old "I'm hungry" voice and finding a new voice.  Keeping it off is the really hard part. Maybe I just need to want it bad enough to make some changes in my life, like putting myself first and keeping myself there.  Anyone else have any suggestions?  Thanks for reading!  -Susan